We all love our favourite cartoons and their fun characters when we are but wee whipper snappers. They hold special places in our hearts as they kept us glued to the screen and out of your parents way during the afternoons.
The reason most cartoons are not taken seriously is because they are a vice for keeping the kids quiet and occupied and you can always go and buy the merchandise from the t.v show if it’s not currently playing.

The Ukraine recently conducted a study on children’s shows around the world on how it can be ill-fitting for their burgeoning youth. They studied kids’ shows from around the world to show what adverse effects it had on young potty un-trained minds.

These are one of those ridiculous studies conducted by some random university in the middle of nowhere who had somehow collected the funds to conduct such crazy research and still have it published. These articles usually get published in the small front page section of the Classifieds of the Argus in Cape Town.

They claimed Futurama, Teletubbies, Pokemon, The Simpsons and Spongebob all looked to destroy the moral fibre of the family unit.


One of the Ukranian psychologists (who had a name with no vowels in) reported that the cartoons caused 3-5 year-olds to “pull faces and make jokes in front of adults they don’t know, laugh out loud and repeat nonsense phrases in a brazen manner”.
They made it sound like the kids have been possessed, but let’s face it all toddlers act like that, whether they watch cartoons or not.  
In fact, that behaviour defines most adults too.

The results showed that:

  • Spongebob reinforced homosexuality. I can only imagine the role Gary the Sea Snail must offer in that fruit shaped house.

“Ripped?….I think not!
  • The Teletubbies promoted acting like a loser who watches too much t.v as cool and made looking deformed as normal. Most middle-aged  men look like Teletubbies and watch too much tv.

Deformed? Just slap on some spanx and we got twins.

  • Shrek contained sadism.
Tweak that shit! Brings a whole new meaning to purple nipple.

  • Japanese Anime contained sexist propaganda. Let’s face it, the sexism in anime is what provides half of it’s appeal.
The Bob’s your bitch.

In my opinion, it’s when you make it forbidden, you make it more tempting. It’s human nature.

It seems the Ukraine doesn’t want the kids to have fun. I guess they can always go and cut up foreigners travelling around town (the move Hostel) to make up for the lack of Cartoon Network.


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