YOU magazine is still around after all these years. I remember it being more fun and interesting when I was a kid. I don’t know why I found in more interesting, it’s either because I was young and stupid or maybe they actually did have fun articles. The kids section comprised of BOBO the Bunny and his dik gevriet (greedy ass) oversized uncle Oom Dikdan and Liewe Heksie along with some other random strips. The best part of the kids section was the encyclopedia articles that could be used for various school projects. Many, including myself, would pull them out and keep when they were needed. Plus, it saved many a trip to the library with its not so wonderful selection of limited resources.

Now, the YOU kids section is all aimed at tweens. There’s fuck all encyclopedic section, clearly kids have stopped doing projects at school and only work on getting cheap fashion from the mall as they browse through poorly styled catalogues conveying “trends”. There’s loads of boyfriend and girlfriend advice articles and shit stupid made-up letters to an agony aunt about how their chommies are twee gevriet (two-faced) or their stupid boyfriend who is hardly out of nappies is begging for sex in the science class. 


If you thought the kids section was rubbish, the general articles define pig swill to a new level. I think they are trying to make themselves more like HELLO! Magazine by trying to gain photo rights to the local South African celebrity weddings. HELLO! Magazine is tripe in it’s own right, but the mag itself is bigger and just all round better quality as they still sell it at most stores and news stands telling us that there is still a big market for it.
Most of the YOU articles focus on crap, and the way its written is mediocre and just reels of smelly soppiness. I’m not sure whose voice they are supposed to be representing to be honest. I can only assume that that voice is that of an old tannie’s who is a hardcore member of the congregation who judges everybody.

Wie is jou Auntie??
The Journalists at You Magazine Headquarters yearly photograph.

Article headlines such as “Boy meets Jesus in his dreams”, Gruesome sacrifice to Satan” reel in YOU’s sales every week. 

I think the worst was when they made the biggest fool of themselves by putting Castor Semanya’s photograph on their cover, where they had an exclusive fashion shoot to show the public that she was indeed a sex symbol to be admired to prove she was a woman. This was before they released her true sexual status as a hermaphrodite. I’m not sure who was more stupid YOU and the rest of the South African media who totally fucked up that individual’s sporting reputation or Castor for agreeing to do this?

Disturbing in every way possible.

I think YOU is nothing but a fortified Daily Voice just censored for the whole family to enjoy in the living room. At least the Daily Voice is honest about being full of kak every week…….and is more affordable of course.


Nuff said!


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